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old_school_clexTitle: Night of the Living . . . Prairie Dogs?
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
balinesenonkeo
Prompt: 8. Full moon madness
Rating: orange (PG/PG 13)
Season: One
Wordcount: 4815
Summary: Meteor rocks + bubonic plague + prairie dogs = . . . zombies?
Disclaimer: If these boys were mine, do you think I'd have to write fanfiction about them? ^^
Author's note: I made it! ^^ Despite leaving most of the fic at work! *coughs* Also, according to sources later in the series, a certain body of water is where red kryptonite was found.
Night of the Living . . . Prairie Dogs?
"Clark! Hey, Clark, slow down!"
Clark turned around just in time to catch Lex Luthor as tripped on--of all things--a crack in the sidewalk. "Careful, there," he said, grinning, "or you, too, can be slapped with a 'Grade-A Dork' sticker."
"My hero," Lex said dryly, straightening his clothes. "Please, let me swoon into your strong, manly arms in gratitude."
"See, that's exactly what I'm talking about," Clark said. "Swoon once and you're suddenly the guy who faints at the sight of blood."
Lex raised an eyebrow. "Is that the voice of bitter experience I hear talking?"
Clark laughed nervously. "So, what do you need me for?" he asked quickly, changing the topic. He could see Lex recognised the tactic for what it was, but was kind enough to go along with it.
"I, ah, actually wanted to give you this," he said, offering a sealed envelope to Clark. "It's, ah, an invitation."
"Clark grinned and carefully ripped the envelope open. "An invitation to what?" he asked, even as he pulled it out for a look.
"A Hallowe'en party?" Lex said, his voice rising at the end as if it were more of a question and less of an answer.
Clark did a double-take. "Lex, Hallowe'en is tonight," he said. "Everyone else already has plans, no one's going to come to a last-minute party!"
There was a brief silence, and then Lex sighed. "I guess you're right," he said reluctantly. "Never mind, I didn't think it through." He made a grab for the invitation in Clark's hand, but missed when Clark raised it out of his reach. The bald man narrowed his eyes. The game of 'keep away' had gotten old in grade school. "Clark . . . "
"Aw, c'mon, Lex!" Clark protested. "I said 'everyone else', didn't I? I'll come. I was only going to go over to Pete's and whine about not being able to go trick-or-treating anymore." He wondered at the fleeting change in expression on Lex's face, but chalked it up to his imagination when the face Lex showed him contained only suspicious concern. He examined the invitation again. "So, what's the dress code? And what can I look forward to?"
"It's Hallowe'en so, of course, costumes," Lex said dryly, only his eyes showing a hint of suspicion. Clark couldn't figure out why it was there in the first place. "Activities will depend on how many people can come."
"How many people have you invited?" Clark asked.
Lex suddenly relaxed and sighed ruefully. Man, the guy was strange. "One."
"Even better," Clark declared. "What would I have to do for you too keep it that way?" And more strangeness: Lex was looking to the side with a tiny, tiny smile. "Lex?"
"What did you have in mind to convince me?" the bald man asked instead.
Clark pretended to think about it for a moment, although he already had his answer. "I thought maybe we could, you know, hang out a bit," he said. "Watch a few scary movies, stuff like that. And," he nudged at Lex with his elbow, "I thought maybe I could get to know this new friend I have a bit better."
"I suppose I could be persuaded," Lex conceded. "What time should I expect you?"
"Um . . . maybe half an hour?" Clark said with an questioning tone. "I have to go home and drop off this stuff first."
"I don't know," Lex said, his voice smooth, but his eyes glinting with mischief, "do you really think that will be enough time for my cook to get some food ready? From all I've heard, farm boys could eat even me out of house and home."
Clark gaped at Lex, then reached over and shoved him--gently. "Keep talking like that and maybe I will show you my real appetite!"
***
"You know, I think this is bigger than my bedroom, Lex."
The two of them were in what Lex had so affectionately called The Archive. There were tons of DVDs, whole bookcases full. There were so many, he felt his eyes shift out of focus by the sheer immensity of it all before he could even think about trying to read some of the titles.
"It's not much," Lex began, only to stop with an innocent little smile when Clark narrowed his eyes at him. "So, what's your poison?"
Clark turned back to the morass of movie . . . mulititudeness. The whole thing needed a new word to properly describe it and he felt no compunctions about making one up. Especially as it let him keep alliterating.
"C'mon, Clark, Hallowe'en night doesn't last forever, you know."
"Ummmm . . . ."
Just then a creepy-sounding bell rang.
Saved by the bell, Clark thought thankfully. "What was that, Lex?" he asked curiously. Maybe it would be a ghostly bell toll and they could escape from the torture of deciding what to watch and go investigate. Yeah, maybe Chloe was rubbing off onto him.
"Doorbell," Lex said with a slight frown. "I'm not expecting anyone, though . . . ."
"Well, it is Hallowe'en," Clark said. "Maybe whoever it is, is a trick-or-treater."
"I thought we were far enough out not to have to worry about it, but . . . ." Lex shrugged. "It won't get you out of making a choice, so hurry it up."
The doorbell rang again.
"You know," Clark said thoughtfully, "that's a seriously creepy sounding doorbell you have, Lex. Congratulations on fuelling the strange rumours about you."
"I try," Lex said modestly. "Choose."
The doorbell rang a third time and Lex smacked his forehead. "I forgot the staff have tonight off," he groaned. "Clark, do me a favour and go get the door, will you? I need to go find something treat-worthy to give to them. Toilet paper on my cars is not my idea of a fun time."
"Yes, sir, Lex, sir!" Clark said, snapping out a salute. He laughed when all Lex did was push him out of The Archive and into the hall.
"Move it, Clark, my cars are at stake here!"
Clark rolled his eyes, but began retracing his steps to the front door. He almost got lost a few times, but managed to guess the right way just as whoever was at the door starting ringing the doorbell like there was no tomorrow.
"Maybe there's no one home," he only just heard someone say.
"The lights are on, so someone's home," someone else insisted.
"Yeah, and will Mister Luthor give us good treats if he has to answer the door because someone, Mark, was ringing the doorbell again and again and again? Maybe he was in the basement."
"Or the attic," a third voice said. "Maybe there was a scary sound and he went up to investigate it and there was a ghost and now he has to come all the way downstairs."
There was a snort. "As if this place is haunted," the first kid said, his voice full of scorn. "Geez, Ben, there's no such thing as ghosts."
Clark grinned and decided maybe he could have a little fun with them. Besides, it would give Lex more time to find some good stuff to give them.
The first thing to do was the create the proper atmosphere. He opened the door, but didn't push on it. It swung open with an appropriately scary creeeeeak and the kids' conversation cut off.
"H-hello?" one of them called. "Um, trick or treat?"
"I told you it was haunted!" Ben said in a fierce whisper. "I think we should get out of here!"
"And where's the fun in that?" Mark said, his voice wobbly. "I think we should check it out." Clark heard footsteps and saw one of them stick his head past the door. Luckily, the light outside was bright and Clark hadn't turned on the light in the foyer, so the kid--Mark, probably--completely missed seeing him. "Uh, hi? Um, happy Hallowe'en?"
"Good evening," Clark said in the deepest and scariest voice he could manage. All three kids let out a little squeak and then another one as he moved a little faster than he normally would with an audience so he could appear in front of them, as if out of thin air. "Hey, Jane, Ben, Mark. How's the trick-or-treating going?"
All three of them sighed with what was obviously relief. "Clark!" His parents sold veggies to all their families, so Clark was a familiar sight to them.
"We were doing fine until someone thought it would be a good idea to check out the Luthor castle," Jane said with a scowl, elbowing Mark in the side.
"Hey!"
"Good hauls, then?" Clark asked. "Hey, what are the good places to hit this year?"
They rolled their eyes at each other and held out their bags. "Trick or treat," they chorused, sounding just a tad firm.
Clark opened his mouth, hoping something good would come out in his bid to give Lex more time, but he gratefully shut it as he heard footsteps approaching, this time from inside the house.
"Are they still here, Clark?" Lex asked. "How many are there? I only brought five, but I can always go back for more." The bald man looked up. "Oh, hey, kids," he said. "Happy Hallowe'en," as he dropped something in each of their bags.
"Wow, thanks, Mister Luthor," Mark said as they turned to leave. He'd already reached into his bag to see what it was that had been given to them.
"Stay safe," Lex said genially before closing the door.
"What did you give them?" Clark asked curiously. He'd tried to see what Lex had been handing out, but hadn't caught more than a glimpse of whatever it was.
"Here," Lex said, holding out a hand. It looked like a soldier of some kind. In fact . . . . Clark picked it up. It looked kinda familiar to him and he frowned.
"Lex, you can't give these out!" he protested. "It's, like, your childhood!"
"Sure I can," Lex said, opening the door as the doorbell rang again. He dropped the soldier he had into one kid's bag and smoothly thieved the other one back from Clark before giving it to the second kid. "Happy Hallowe'en!"
"Lex!" Clark all but wailed. "Your dad gave you those!"
"Exactly," Lex said with satisfaction. "It makes it even better. These kids will enjoy them far more than I ever did."
Clark's mouth flapped open and closed a few times. "B-but . . . !"
"Clark," Lex said seriously, "these were never toys for me. They were tools my father tried to use to teach me. I was never allowed to just play with them. Besides," with a naughty grin lurking around his mouth, "this ought to piss him off well and good when he finds out.
Clark thought about it for a moment. Then he thought about what he knew of Lex's father. "Lex Luthor, you wild rebel, you," he said at last. "Gee, maybe my father was right and I shouldn't be spending time with you. You're liable to be a bad influence to me, giving away things like that." He was able to keep a straight face for maybe a second after Lex looked at him, startled, and then he broke.
"Oh, shut up," Lex said, pushing at his shoulder. Clark fell against the door and chortled. "No, really, Clark, shut up. I have an idea and I need your help for it."
Clark let out a few last chuckles and wiped at his eyes. "What, do you need help finding your model of Vesuvius?" he asked. Lex gave him a thoroughly exasperated look and Clark snickered again. "Okay, okay, I'll be good," he said, trying to school his face into seriousness. It didn't really work, but Lex obviously thought it was the best he was going to get, because he turned and headed down a side hall. "Lex," Clark called, stretching his legs to keep up. "Lex, where are we going?"
"To the linen closet."
***
"You know," Clark said, his voice sounding strangely dull, "I was wrong before. This is bigger than my bedroom. Lex, do all rich people have linen closets bigger than my bedroom?"
"Shut up and take this," Lex said, his voice muffled by the linen he was currently up against as he tried to reach something past it.
"Take what?" Clark wanted to know. "Oof!" An armful of sheets hit his stomach and he barely managed to catch it all. "Lex, what are we doing with sheets?"
"Less talking, more carrying," Lex ordered, throwing another bundle his way.
***
"How does it look?" Lex asked.
Clark took the time to properly examine the pale figure in the tree, outlined in the light of a newly full moon. Then he transferred his gaze to the sheet billowing ominously in the wind. "Very creepy," he called back. He wasn't quite sure how handing out treats to kiddies had suddenly become trying to scare them off with sheet-ghosts--as if it was going to work; it was, after all, Hallowe'en and Clark knew of at least three 'haunted' houses in town--but it had to be better than trying to pick a movie in the depths of the cavern Lex called his movie collection.
His eyes tracked Lex as the bald man swung himself out of the tree with absolutely no problems and plenty of grace. Maybe, if he worked real hard at it, he could, one day, be half as graceful as Lex. Then (judging from his reaction to Lex's grace), he would no longer be labelled as a Grade-A Dork and maybe he could have half a chance of return all the seriously heated looks Lex shot his way. On the other hand, he tripped over air sometimes, so maybe not.
"What do you think?" Lex asked from beside him. Clark blinked, startled, and resolved not to let himself get carried away with daydreams while actually in Lex's presence; that way lay madness and, also, stuttering and extreme blushing.
"I think we still have one sheet left, Tarzan," Clark said dryly. "And maybe I can go up this time."
Lex laughed at him. "Try to convince me," he said.
"Hmmm. Experience," Clark tried. "I have to have more experience climbing trees than a rich city boy like you."
Lex nodded seriously. "Quite possibly," he agreed. "But you're not half as sneaky as I am." And then he was running for the next tree, laughing.
Clark gaped at him and then at his empty hands. How had Lex gotten the sheet away from him, anyway? If he tried, he could maybe remember Lex holding his hand out for it. And then . . . he just gave it to him?
"No fair!" he yelled. "Some of us wanted to climb trees, too!"
"All's fair in love and war!" Lex carolled back as he arranged the sheet in such a way as to--hopefully--make sure it stayed put overnight.
"Come out of the tree and I'll show you war!"
Lex laughed down at him. "you've got a lot to learn about war, Clark," he said. "Lesson one: Never tell the enemy what you're going to do to him. Making him uncertain will do more for you than outright fear."
Clark scowled up at him. If he had wanted war lessons, he would've asked Lex's dad for them.
Lex laughed at him again. "Okay, how does it look?" he asked, rearranging a fluttering edge.
"Oooo, very scary."
"Try to sound a little more scared," Lex scolded, looking down. "And I'll have you know . . . ."
"You'll have me know?" Clark prompted.
"Tell me you didn't bring any of your woodland friends with you," were Lex's next words.
Clark frowned at the non sequitur. "No, I try to leave them in the woodlands," he said.
"Fair enough. And did you, by chance, leave any glow-in-the-dark dots while I was busy getting our ghosts ready?"
"Uh, no?" Clark said, puzzled. "Why?"
"Maybe you shouldn't look down," Lex said. "After all, what you don't know can't hurt you, right?"
"Uh-huh," Clark said slowly. And then he looked down.
A few moments later, Lex said, "That was very impressive, Clark. I didn't think anyone with a dick could scream that high."
Clark glared down at Lex. "Shut up," he said. "I don't see you climbing out of the tree."
"Well, no," Lex said reasonably. "And that would be because there's furry little rodents with glowing red eyes down there."
"Maybe it's just the light," Clark said weakly.
"Yes, and maybe they're not all gathering around this tree," Lex returned sweetly. Then he frowned. "Clark, why are they all gathering around this tree?"
"Uh . . . . I dunno?"
"What are they anyway?"
"I think they're prairie dogs," Clark offered. Something about that was familiar and he frowned, trying to place it. "There was an article about two weeks ago; I think one of their towns was almost all killed."
"Huh," Lex said. "Yeah, I think I remember that. Oona and I talked about it."
Clark's eyes grew round. "Oona Johnson?" he squeaked. "You and her talk?"
"She's my nearest neighbour, Clark, of course we do," Lex said. "Did you know my father has tried buying, bribing, and blackmailing her to get her land? She is a perpetual thorn in my father's side and I respect her enormously for it." Which explained why Lex talked with her, but not why she was talking back. "And what does that have to do with anything?"
Clark brought his mind back to the situation at hand with difficulty. Right. Prairie dogs with glowing red eyes. "It's just, I think the prairie dog town near her was the only one on this side of Smallville," he said.
They both looked down. The prairie dogs were eerily silent. Also, there were more of them.
"Maybe they're the ones that survived?" Lex said doubtfully. "And . . . they're migrating?"
Just then, the wind died.
"Ewww, I don't think so!" Clark said, pinching his noise shut. The prairie dogs smelled dead. Not only dead, but two and a half weeks dead.
"Maybe they need a bath?"
"Yeah, with holy water. Lex, I hate to tell you this, but I think you've got zombie dogs."
"But I can't!" Lex protested. "I-- It's supposed to be werewolves by the light of the full moon, not zombie dogs!"
Just then, one of the zombie dogs launched itself at the tree they were in. Not being a natural jumper, it didn't get very high, but suddenly Clark was sharing his branch with Lex. Then, the rest of the zombie dogs joined in and the night was filled with the sounds of thuds.
"Why do they want to get into this tree?" Lex asked nervously.
Clark steadied him with a hand on his shoulder. "Maybe they like the sheets?" he hazarded.
"I think they're out for blood," Lex countered. "Or maybe meat. Zombies always want human meat."
"They're kinda herbivores," Clark said. "Not big on the meat-eating thing."
"Yeah, but that was before they were zombified," Lex insisted. "Now they want our flesh. And to turn us into zombies. Don't let them bite you."
"I wasn't planning on it," Clark muttered.
"You don't happen to have any salt in your pocket, do you?"
Clark patted his pockets theatrically. "No, I seem to have left them in my other zombie slayer suit."
Then, the branch they were on creaked ominously.
"Was that . . . ?" Clark started.
"I think it was," Lex agreed. "Abandon branch!"
But before they could scramble to another safe haven, there was a sharp crack and they plummeted.
"Oof!" Apparently, being invulnerable wasn't enough to keep the air from being knocked out of you when you fell out of a tree. "Oof!" Or when one Lex Luthor fell out of a tree on top of you. "Eww, did we land on them?"
Lex shook his head and kinda peered over Clark's shoulder. The grimace told him all he needed to know. "I think the branch did first, but, yeah."
"Gross!"
"Uh, not to interrupt you or anything," Lex said, now staring at something other than the squished zombie dogs under Clark, "but maybe we should be . . . moving. Running. Climbing. Whatever." Just then, a zombie dog launched itself at Lex, who squealed and managed to frantically bat it out of the air.
Clark stood them both up in a hurry. "Running?"
"Running!"
The only sounds in the night was the thud of their feet on the ground and the wind in the trees; the zombie dogs were still silent, which was somehow more menacing than if they were doing their squeaky little bark thing. It was enough to keep the two of them heading towards the smallest number of them, moving and dodging the zombie dogs as best they could.
"I think they're herding us somewhere!" Lex shouted at Clark.
"Herbivores!" Clark shouted back. "Not really good at the hunting thing!"
"No, really, try moving that way and see what happens!"
Clark rolled his eyes, but moved to the right a bit. Immediately, the concentration of zombie dogs there intensified and he shied back closer to Lex. "Right, okay. So?"
"I'm thinking it's not going to be a good idea to be wherever they want us to be!"
"So?" Clark repeated. "Do you have a plan?"
Lex pointed to the left. "I think that's Hobbs Pond! Try to make for it!"
"Lex, that's for wicked witches and vampires! Plus, it needs to be running water!"
Lex gave him a look. "Do you have a better plan?"
"Uh, no?"
"Then come on!" And Lex turned sharply, making for the glimmer of water. The zombie dogs were there right away, trying to block his chosen path, but he kicked them out of the way.
Clark followed. At first, he tried to kick them sort of gently out of his way, but he got progressively more annoyed and angry and, pretty soon, he was fairly stomping on them. And then he and Lex were wading into the water and the zombie dogs were left milling on the edge.
"Huh," Lex said, sounding faintly surprised. "It works."
With a frustrated growl, Clark turned to say something borderline nasty to him, but stopped at the look Lex was giving him.
"Clark, there's one chewing on your ear."
Now that Lex said something, he could feel the little bugger trying to gnaw on him. Ha, too bad for it he had alien skin! He shook his head violently and heard something splash.
"Something you want to tell me, Clark?" Lex asked coolly, an eyebrow raised inquiringly.
A lot of things, actually, starting with . . . . "You look kinda hot, all wet like that," he said, doing his best to leer at the bald man. The water was barely up to their waists but, even so, the shirt Lex was wearing was mostly wet and it showed off his body to a treat.
Lex blinked, nonplussed. "That's you want to tell me?"
Clark shrugged. "Among other things." Then he pointed to where the zombie dog trying to snack on him had landed. The only thing left of its presence was a fading spot of froth and bubbles. "Looks like this was a good plan after all."
"Interesting," Lex murmured, even though he gave Clark a sharp glance as if to say that they were going to be revisiting some previous topics. Soon. "Do me a favour and splash some water over there."
"And what'll it get me?"
Lex gave him an exasperated look, tinged with growing annoyance. "It will get us out of here, so we can go home and do some talking."
"About how hot you are?" Clark said, trying to make his voice sound sexy. Another faintly bemused look from Lex.
"Among other things," the bald man finally agreed.
"No, I want something else," Clark announced. "I want a kiss."
Lex sighed. "Clark, if you don't want to talk about it, fine, just tell me," he said sharply. "Don't try to distract me with that sort of thing because it won't work."
Clark reached down and casually adjusted himself, smirking at the way Lex's eyes zeroed in on the motion. "Really?"
Lex's eyes snapped up again and he scowled. Then he turned away and waded a bit closer to the shore. obviously intending to splash the zombie dogs himself. Clark sulked. Where was the witty repartee Lex Luthor was famous for.
And then he saw the zombie dog, taking a chance at a bubbly death to jump at Lex. Immediately, Clark was there, batting it away with a bit more force than strictly required. The speed he'd moved at sloshed a small wave of water on the shore, splashing several of the zombie dogs and their skin started bubbling and (finally) they started making some noise. An irritatingly high-pitched squeaking, true, but it was better than the eerie silence. Almost.
"What's up with you, Clark?" Lex asked angrily, poking at his chest with a finger.
"Nothing," Clark said, grabbing said finger and easily keeping hold of it. "Did you think I wouldn't see all those looks you give me?"
"That's not the point!" Lex said, tugging furiously in an attempt to get his finger back. It didn't work.
"Are you so sure?" Clark said, smiling slowly (and, he hoped, devastatingly). He leaned in and gave Lex a kiss. Oh, yeah. So much better than that sucky Kiss of Life after that accident. Lex was alive and warm and, damn, this was the best kiss of his life.
He pulled away, confident that Lex would be overwhelmed by passion for him. Hell, he was feeling quite overwhelmed himself. He opened his eyes, only to find Lex staring at him angrily. "What?!" he snapped.
"Don't you dare think kissing me is going to stop me from finding about whatever the hell you're made off," Lex said in a quiet, deadly voice.
"Is that what you're worried about?" Clark asked in disbelief. He waved a hand dismissively. "Don't be. I'll tell you anything you want, as long as the kissing thing's still on."
Lex looked at him for a moment, still frowning. "We'll see," he said finally. "Will you splash the rest of the buggers now or do you want to stay out here all night?"
Clark raked his eyes up and down Lex's body appreciatively. He had nothing against staying there all night. On the other hand . . . . Lex was probably going to get cold some time and he didn't think the kissing thing was going to be improved by shivering. Pity. "Fine, I'll do it," he said, heaving a munch put-upon sigh. Then he grinned. "Stand back."
Lex gave him a doubtful look, but obediently waded closer to the middle of the pond again. Clark stood still for a moment, calculating how best to do it, before starting to run. He kept moving his hands as fast as he could, shaping a wall of water until he thought it was enough. Then he pointed it at the zombie dogs and let momentum take its course.
He dusted his hands off, preening at the astonished look Lex was giving him. Yeah, being an alien with freaky alien abilities was sooooo worth it sometimes. "Do I get a kiss now?" he asked cockily.
"You can have one when we get back to the manor," Lex said firmly.
Clark shrugged. "If you say so." And a few seconds later, they were safe and sound inside Luthor Manor again.
That, of course, was when Clark realised just what he had done. He couldn't even think of what he could say. First, for showing off his abilities like that and then for the, the molesting of Lex! He didn't even want to know what had come over him!
But before he could come up with even a wildly implausible excuse--the one he'd just discarded was along the lines of 'the meteor rocks made me do it!' despite the clear lack of meteor rocks and their debilitating effects--his mouth was covered with Lex's and there was some serious kissing going on. And it felt good. Even better than what they had just done in the pond. He groaned helplessly. Maybe he'd have to re-think the excuse part; it certainly didn't look like Lex was afraid or disgusted by him, judging from what his tongue was doing to Clark.
"Now, about those explanations," Lex said in a breathy voice when the kiss finally ended. He was pressed all up against Clark and that felt almost as good as the kiss.
Oh, yeah. Maybe doing the whole explanation thing wouldn't be so bad after all. Besides, Lex had already made good on his part of the deal. Clark would be a very bad friend indeed if he didn't hold up his end.
***
end
***
Author:
balinesenonkeoPrompt: 8. Full moon madness
Rating: orange (PG/PG 13)
Season: One
Wordcount: 4815
Summary: Meteor rocks + bubonic plague + prairie dogs = . . . zombies?
Disclaimer: If these boys were mine, do you think I'd have to write fanfiction about them? ^^
Author's note: I made it! ^^ Despite leaving most of the fic at work! *coughs* Also, according to sources later in the series, a certain body of water is where red kryptonite was found.
Night of the Living . . . Prairie Dogs?
"Clark! Hey, Clark, slow down!"
Clark turned around just in time to catch Lex Luthor as tripped on--of all things--a crack in the sidewalk. "Careful, there," he said, grinning, "or you, too, can be slapped with a 'Grade-A Dork' sticker."
"My hero," Lex said dryly, straightening his clothes. "Please, let me swoon into your strong, manly arms in gratitude."
"See, that's exactly what I'm talking about," Clark said. "Swoon once and you're suddenly the guy who faints at the sight of blood."
Lex raised an eyebrow. "Is that the voice of bitter experience I hear talking?"
Clark laughed nervously. "So, what do you need me for?" he asked quickly, changing the topic. He could see Lex recognised the tactic for what it was, but was kind enough to go along with it.
"I, ah, actually wanted to give you this," he said, offering a sealed envelope to Clark. "It's, ah, an invitation."
"Clark grinned and carefully ripped the envelope open. "An invitation to what?" he asked, even as he pulled it out for a look.
"A Hallowe'en party?" Lex said, his voice rising at the end as if it were more of a question and less of an answer.
Clark did a double-take. "Lex, Hallowe'en is tonight," he said. "Everyone else already has plans, no one's going to come to a last-minute party!"
There was a brief silence, and then Lex sighed. "I guess you're right," he said reluctantly. "Never mind, I didn't think it through." He made a grab for the invitation in Clark's hand, but missed when Clark raised it out of his reach. The bald man narrowed his eyes. The game of 'keep away' had gotten old in grade school. "Clark . . . "
"Aw, c'mon, Lex!" Clark protested. "I said 'everyone else', didn't I? I'll come. I was only going to go over to Pete's and whine about not being able to go trick-or-treating anymore." He wondered at the fleeting change in expression on Lex's face, but chalked it up to his imagination when the face Lex showed him contained only suspicious concern. He examined the invitation again. "So, what's the dress code? And what can I look forward to?"
"It's Hallowe'en so, of course, costumes," Lex said dryly, only his eyes showing a hint of suspicion. Clark couldn't figure out why it was there in the first place. "Activities will depend on how many people can come."
"How many people have you invited?" Clark asked.
Lex suddenly relaxed and sighed ruefully. Man, the guy was strange. "One."
"Even better," Clark declared. "What would I have to do for you too keep it that way?" And more strangeness: Lex was looking to the side with a tiny, tiny smile. "Lex?"
"What did you have in mind to convince me?" the bald man asked instead.
Clark pretended to think about it for a moment, although he already had his answer. "I thought maybe we could, you know, hang out a bit," he said. "Watch a few scary movies, stuff like that. And," he nudged at Lex with his elbow, "I thought maybe I could get to know this new friend I have a bit better."
"I suppose I could be persuaded," Lex conceded. "What time should I expect you?"
"Um . . . maybe half an hour?" Clark said with an questioning tone. "I have to go home and drop off this stuff first."
"I don't know," Lex said, his voice smooth, but his eyes glinting with mischief, "do you really think that will be enough time for my cook to get some food ready? From all I've heard, farm boys could eat even me out of house and home."
Clark gaped at Lex, then reached over and shoved him--gently. "Keep talking like that and maybe I will show you my real appetite!"
"You know, I think this is bigger than my bedroom, Lex."
The two of them were in what Lex had so affectionately called The Archive. There were tons of DVDs, whole bookcases full. There were so many, he felt his eyes shift out of focus by the sheer immensity of it all before he could even think about trying to read some of the titles.
"It's not much," Lex began, only to stop with an innocent little smile when Clark narrowed his eyes at him. "So, what's your poison?"
Clark turned back to the morass of movie . . . mulititudeness. The whole thing needed a new word to properly describe it and he felt no compunctions about making one up. Especially as it let him keep alliterating.
"C'mon, Clark, Hallowe'en night doesn't last forever, you know."
"Ummmm . . . ."
Just then a creepy-sounding bell rang.
Saved by the bell, Clark thought thankfully. "What was that, Lex?" he asked curiously. Maybe it would be a ghostly bell toll and they could escape from the torture of deciding what to watch and go investigate. Yeah, maybe Chloe was rubbing off onto him.
"Doorbell," Lex said with a slight frown. "I'm not expecting anyone, though . . . ."
"Well, it is Hallowe'en," Clark said. "Maybe whoever it is, is a trick-or-treater."
"I thought we were far enough out not to have to worry about it, but . . . ." Lex shrugged. "It won't get you out of making a choice, so hurry it up."
The doorbell rang again.
"You know," Clark said thoughtfully, "that's a seriously creepy sounding doorbell you have, Lex. Congratulations on fuelling the strange rumours about you."
"I try," Lex said modestly. "Choose."
The doorbell rang a third time and Lex smacked his forehead. "I forgot the staff have tonight off," he groaned. "Clark, do me a favour and go get the door, will you? I need to go find something treat-worthy to give to them. Toilet paper on my cars is not my idea of a fun time."
"Yes, sir, Lex, sir!" Clark said, snapping out a salute. He laughed when all Lex did was push him out of The Archive and into the hall.
"Move it, Clark, my cars are at stake here!"
Clark rolled his eyes, but began retracing his steps to the front door. He almost got lost a few times, but managed to guess the right way just as whoever was at the door starting ringing the doorbell like there was no tomorrow.
"Maybe there's no one home," he only just heard someone say.
"The lights are on, so someone's home," someone else insisted.
"Yeah, and will Mister Luthor give us good treats if he has to answer the door because someone, Mark, was ringing the doorbell again and again and again? Maybe he was in the basement."
"Or the attic," a third voice said. "Maybe there was a scary sound and he went up to investigate it and there was a ghost and now he has to come all the way downstairs."
There was a snort. "As if this place is haunted," the first kid said, his voice full of scorn. "Geez, Ben, there's no such thing as ghosts."
Clark grinned and decided maybe he could have a little fun with them. Besides, it would give Lex more time to find some good stuff to give them.
The first thing to do was the create the proper atmosphere. He opened the door, but didn't push on it. It swung open with an appropriately scary creeeeeak and the kids' conversation cut off.
"H-hello?" one of them called. "Um, trick or treat?"
"I told you it was haunted!" Ben said in a fierce whisper. "I think we should get out of here!"
"And where's the fun in that?" Mark said, his voice wobbly. "I think we should check it out." Clark heard footsteps and saw one of them stick his head past the door. Luckily, the light outside was bright and Clark hadn't turned on the light in the foyer, so the kid--Mark, probably--completely missed seeing him. "Uh, hi? Um, happy Hallowe'en?"
"Good evening," Clark said in the deepest and scariest voice he could manage. All three kids let out a little squeak and then another one as he moved a little faster than he normally would with an audience so he could appear in front of them, as if out of thin air. "Hey, Jane, Ben, Mark. How's the trick-or-treating going?"
All three of them sighed with what was obviously relief. "Clark!" His parents sold veggies to all their families, so Clark was a familiar sight to them.
"We were doing fine until someone thought it would be a good idea to check out the Luthor castle," Jane said with a scowl, elbowing Mark in the side.
"Hey!"
"Good hauls, then?" Clark asked. "Hey, what are the good places to hit this year?"
They rolled their eyes at each other and held out their bags. "Trick or treat," they chorused, sounding just a tad firm.
Clark opened his mouth, hoping something good would come out in his bid to give Lex more time, but he gratefully shut it as he heard footsteps approaching, this time from inside the house.
"Are they still here, Clark?" Lex asked. "How many are there? I only brought five, but I can always go back for more." The bald man looked up. "Oh, hey, kids," he said. "Happy Hallowe'en," as he dropped something in each of their bags.
"Wow, thanks, Mister Luthor," Mark said as they turned to leave. He'd already reached into his bag to see what it was that had been given to them.
"Stay safe," Lex said genially before closing the door.
"What did you give them?" Clark asked curiously. He'd tried to see what Lex had been handing out, but hadn't caught more than a glimpse of whatever it was.
"Here," Lex said, holding out a hand. It looked like a soldier of some kind. In fact . . . . Clark picked it up. It looked kinda familiar to him and he frowned.
"Lex, you can't give these out!" he protested. "It's, like, your childhood!"
"Sure I can," Lex said, opening the door as the doorbell rang again. He dropped the soldier he had into one kid's bag and smoothly thieved the other one back from Clark before giving it to the second kid. "Happy Hallowe'en!"
"Lex!" Clark all but wailed. "Your dad gave you those!"
"Exactly," Lex said with satisfaction. "It makes it even better. These kids will enjoy them far more than I ever did."
Clark's mouth flapped open and closed a few times. "B-but . . . !"
"Clark," Lex said seriously, "these were never toys for me. They were tools my father tried to use to teach me. I was never allowed to just play with them. Besides," with a naughty grin lurking around his mouth, "this ought to piss him off well and good when he finds out.
Clark thought about it for a moment. Then he thought about what he knew of Lex's father. "Lex Luthor, you wild rebel, you," he said at last. "Gee, maybe my father was right and I shouldn't be spending time with you. You're liable to be a bad influence to me, giving away things like that." He was able to keep a straight face for maybe a second after Lex looked at him, startled, and then he broke.
"Oh, shut up," Lex said, pushing at his shoulder. Clark fell against the door and chortled. "No, really, Clark, shut up. I have an idea and I need your help for it."
Clark let out a few last chuckles and wiped at his eyes. "What, do you need help finding your model of Vesuvius?" he asked. Lex gave him a thoroughly exasperated look and Clark snickered again. "Okay, okay, I'll be good," he said, trying to school his face into seriousness. It didn't really work, but Lex obviously thought it was the best he was going to get, because he turned and headed down a side hall. "Lex," Clark called, stretching his legs to keep up. "Lex, where are we going?"
"To the linen closet."
"You know," Clark said, his voice sounding strangely dull, "I was wrong before. This is bigger than my bedroom. Lex, do all rich people have linen closets bigger than my bedroom?"
"Shut up and take this," Lex said, his voice muffled by the linen he was currently up against as he tried to reach something past it.
"Take what?" Clark wanted to know. "Oof!" An armful of sheets hit his stomach and he barely managed to catch it all. "Lex, what are we doing with sheets?"
"Less talking, more carrying," Lex ordered, throwing another bundle his way.
"How does it look?" Lex asked.
Clark took the time to properly examine the pale figure in the tree, outlined in the light of a newly full moon. Then he transferred his gaze to the sheet billowing ominously in the wind. "Very creepy," he called back. He wasn't quite sure how handing out treats to kiddies had suddenly become trying to scare them off with sheet-ghosts--as if it was going to work; it was, after all, Hallowe'en and Clark knew of at least three 'haunted' houses in town--but it had to be better than trying to pick a movie in the depths of the cavern Lex called his movie collection.
His eyes tracked Lex as the bald man swung himself out of the tree with absolutely no problems and plenty of grace. Maybe, if he worked real hard at it, he could, one day, be half as graceful as Lex. Then (judging from his reaction to Lex's grace), he would no longer be labelled as a Grade-A Dork and maybe he could have half a chance of return all the seriously heated looks Lex shot his way. On the other hand, he tripped over air sometimes, so maybe not.
"What do you think?" Lex asked from beside him. Clark blinked, startled, and resolved not to let himself get carried away with daydreams while actually in Lex's presence; that way lay madness and, also, stuttering and extreme blushing.
"I think we still have one sheet left, Tarzan," Clark said dryly. "And maybe I can go up this time."
Lex laughed at him. "Try to convince me," he said.
"Hmmm. Experience," Clark tried. "I have to have more experience climbing trees than a rich city boy like you."
Lex nodded seriously. "Quite possibly," he agreed. "But you're not half as sneaky as I am." And then he was running for the next tree, laughing.
Clark gaped at him and then at his empty hands. How had Lex gotten the sheet away from him, anyway? If he tried, he could maybe remember Lex holding his hand out for it. And then . . . he just gave it to him?
"No fair!" he yelled. "Some of us wanted to climb trees, too!"
"All's fair in love and war!" Lex carolled back as he arranged the sheet in such a way as to--hopefully--make sure it stayed put overnight.
"Come out of the tree and I'll show you war!"
Lex laughed down at him. "you've got a lot to learn about war, Clark," he said. "Lesson one: Never tell the enemy what you're going to do to him. Making him uncertain will do more for you than outright fear."
Clark scowled up at him. If he had wanted war lessons, he would've asked Lex's dad for them.
Lex laughed at him again. "Okay, how does it look?" he asked, rearranging a fluttering edge.
"Oooo, very scary."
"Try to sound a little more scared," Lex scolded, looking down. "And I'll have you know . . . ."
"You'll have me know?" Clark prompted.
"Tell me you didn't bring any of your woodland friends with you," were Lex's next words.
Clark frowned at the non sequitur. "No, I try to leave them in the woodlands," he said.
"Fair enough. And did you, by chance, leave any glow-in-the-dark dots while I was busy getting our ghosts ready?"
"Uh, no?" Clark said, puzzled. "Why?"
"Maybe you shouldn't look down," Lex said. "After all, what you don't know can't hurt you, right?"
"Uh-huh," Clark said slowly. And then he looked down.
A few moments later, Lex said, "That was very impressive, Clark. I didn't think anyone with a dick could scream that high."
Clark glared down at Lex. "Shut up," he said. "I don't see you climbing out of the tree."
"Well, no," Lex said reasonably. "And that would be because there's furry little rodents with glowing red eyes down there."
"Maybe it's just the light," Clark said weakly.
"Yes, and maybe they're not all gathering around this tree," Lex returned sweetly. Then he frowned. "Clark, why are they all gathering around this tree?"
"Uh . . . . I dunno?"
"What are they anyway?"
"I think they're prairie dogs," Clark offered. Something about that was familiar and he frowned, trying to place it. "There was an article about two weeks ago; I think one of their towns was almost all killed."
"Huh," Lex said. "Yeah, I think I remember that. Oona and I talked about it."
Clark's eyes grew round. "Oona Johnson?" he squeaked. "You and her talk?"
"She's my nearest neighbour, Clark, of course we do," Lex said. "Did you know my father has tried buying, bribing, and blackmailing her to get her land? She is a perpetual thorn in my father's side and I respect her enormously for it." Which explained why Lex talked with her, but not why she was talking back. "And what does that have to do with anything?"
Clark brought his mind back to the situation at hand with difficulty. Right. Prairie dogs with glowing red eyes. "It's just, I think the prairie dog town near her was the only one on this side of Smallville," he said.
They both looked down. The prairie dogs were eerily silent. Also, there were more of them.
"Maybe they're the ones that survived?" Lex said doubtfully. "And . . . they're migrating?"
Just then, the wind died.
"Ewww, I don't think so!" Clark said, pinching his noise shut. The prairie dogs smelled dead. Not only dead, but two and a half weeks dead.
"Maybe they need a bath?"
"Yeah, with holy water. Lex, I hate to tell you this, but I think you've got zombie dogs."
"But I can't!" Lex protested. "I-- It's supposed to be werewolves by the light of the full moon, not zombie dogs!"
Just then, one of the zombie dogs launched itself at the tree they were in. Not being a natural jumper, it didn't get very high, but suddenly Clark was sharing his branch with Lex. Then, the rest of the zombie dogs joined in and the night was filled with the sounds of thuds.
"Why do they want to get into this tree?" Lex asked nervously.
Clark steadied him with a hand on his shoulder. "Maybe they like the sheets?" he hazarded.
"I think they're out for blood," Lex countered. "Or maybe meat. Zombies always want human meat."
"They're kinda herbivores," Clark said. "Not big on the meat-eating thing."
"Yeah, but that was before they were zombified," Lex insisted. "Now they want our flesh. And to turn us into zombies. Don't let them bite you."
"I wasn't planning on it," Clark muttered.
"You don't happen to have any salt in your pocket, do you?"
Clark patted his pockets theatrically. "No, I seem to have left them in my other zombie slayer suit."
Then, the branch they were on creaked ominously.
"Was that . . . ?" Clark started.
"I think it was," Lex agreed. "Abandon branch!"
But before they could scramble to another safe haven, there was a sharp crack and they plummeted.
"Oof!" Apparently, being invulnerable wasn't enough to keep the air from being knocked out of you when you fell out of a tree. "Oof!" Or when one Lex Luthor fell out of a tree on top of you. "Eww, did we land on them?"
Lex shook his head and kinda peered over Clark's shoulder. The grimace told him all he needed to know. "I think the branch did first, but, yeah."
"Gross!"
"Uh, not to interrupt you or anything," Lex said, now staring at something other than the squished zombie dogs under Clark, "but maybe we should be . . . moving. Running. Climbing. Whatever." Just then, a zombie dog launched itself at Lex, who squealed and managed to frantically bat it out of the air.
Clark stood them both up in a hurry. "Running?"
"Running!"
The only sounds in the night was the thud of their feet on the ground and the wind in the trees; the zombie dogs were still silent, which was somehow more menacing than if they were doing their squeaky little bark thing. It was enough to keep the two of them heading towards the smallest number of them, moving and dodging the zombie dogs as best they could.
"I think they're herding us somewhere!" Lex shouted at Clark.
"Herbivores!" Clark shouted back. "Not really good at the hunting thing!"
"No, really, try moving that way and see what happens!"
Clark rolled his eyes, but moved to the right a bit. Immediately, the concentration of zombie dogs there intensified and he shied back closer to Lex. "Right, okay. So?"
"I'm thinking it's not going to be a good idea to be wherever they want us to be!"
"So?" Clark repeated. "Do you have a plan?"
Lex pointed to the left. "I think that's Hobbs Pond! Try to make for it!"
"Lex, that's for wicked witches and vampires! Plus, it needs to be running water!"
Lex gave him a look. "Do you have a better plan?"
"Uh, no?"
"Then come on!" And Lex turned sharply, making for the glimmer of water. The zombie dogs were there right away, trying to block his chosen path, but he kicked them out of the way.
Clark followed. At first, he tried to kick them sort of gently out of his way, but he got progressively more annoyed and angry and, pretty soon, he was fairly stomping on them. And then he and Lex were wading into the water and the zombie dogs were left milling on the edge.
"Huh," Lex said, sounding faintly surprised. "It works."
With a frustrated growl, Clark turned to say something borderline nasty to him, but stopped at the look Lex was giving him.
"Clark, there's one chewing on your ear."
Now that Lex said something, he could feel the little bugger trying to gnaw on him. Ha, too bad for it he had alien skin! He shook his head violently and heard something splash.
"Something you want to tell me, Clark?" Lex asked coolly, an eyebrow raised inquiringly.
A lot of things, actually, starting with . . . . "You look kinda hot, all wet like that," he said, doing his best to leer at the bald man. The water was barely up to their waists but, even so, the shirt Lex was wearing was mostly wet and it showed off his body to a treat.
Lex blinked, nonplussed. "That's you want to tell me?"
Clark shrugged. "Among other things." Then he pointed to where the zombie dog trying to snack on him had landed. The only thing left of its presence was a fading spot of froth and bubbles. "Looks like this was a good plan after all."
"Interesting," Lex murmured, even though he gave Clark a sharp glance as if to say that they were going to be revisiting some previous topics. Soon. "Do me a favour and splash some water over there."
"And what'll it get me?"
Lex gave him an exasperated look, tinged with growing annoyance. "It will get us out of here, so we can go home and do some talking."
"About how hot you are?" Clark said, trying to make his voice sound sexy. Another faintly bemused look from Lex.
"Among other things," the bald man finally agreed.
"No, I want something else," Clark announced. "I want a kiss."
Lex sighed. "Clark, if you don't want to talk about it, fine, just tell me," he said sharply. "Don't try to distract me with that sort of thing because it won't work."
Clark reached down and casually adjusted himself, smirking at the way Lex's eyes zeroed in on the motion. "Really?"
Lex's eyes snapped up again and he scowled. Then he turned away and waded a bit closer to the shore. obviously intending to splash the zombie dogs himself. Clark sulked. Where was the witty repartee Lex Luthor was famous for.
And then he saw the zombie dog, taking a chance at a bubbly death to jump at Lex. Immediately, Clark was there, batting it away with a bit more force than strictly required. The speed he'd moved at sloshed a small wave of water on the shore, splashing several of the zombie dogs and their skin started bubbling and (finally) they started making some noise. An irritatingly high-pitched squeaking, true, but it was better than the eerie silence. Almost.
"What's up with you, Clark?" Lex asked angrily, poking at his chest with a finger.
"Nothing," Clark said, grabbing said finger and easily keeping hold of it. "Did you think I wouldn't see all those looks you give me?"
"That's not the point!" Lex said, tugging furiously in an attempt to get his finger back. It didn't work.
"Are you so sure?" Clark said, smiling slowly (and, he hoped, devastatingly). He leaned in and gave Lex a kiss. Oh, yeah. So much better than that sucky Kiss of Life after that accident. Lex was alive and warm and, damn, this was the best kiss of his life.
He pulled away, confident that Lex would be overwhelmed by passion for him. Hell, he was feeling quite overwhelmed himself. He opened his eyes, only to find Lex staring at him angrily. "What?!" he snapped.
"Don't you dare think kissing me is going to stop me from finding about whatever the hell you're made off," Lex said in a quiet, deadly voice.
"Is that what you're worried about?" Clark asked in disbelief. He waved a hand dismissively. "Don't be. I'll tell you anything you want, as long as the kissing thing's still on."
Lex looked at him for a moment, still frowning. "We'll see," he said finally. "Will you splash the rest of the buggers now or do you want to stay out here all night?"
Clark raked his eyes up and down Lex's body appreciatively. He had nothing against staying there all night. On the other hand . . . . Lex was probably going to get cold some time and he didn't think the kissing thing was going to be improved by shivering. Pity. "Fine, I'll do it," he said, heaving a munch put-upon sigh. Then he grinned. "Stand back."
Lex gave him a doubtful look, but obediently waded closer to the middle of the pond again. Clark stood still for a moment, calculating how best to do it, before starting to run. He kept moving his hands as fast as he could, shaping a wall of water until he thought it was enough. Then he pointed it at the zombie dogs and let momentum take its course.
He dusted his hands off, preening at the astonished look Lex was giving him. Yeah, being an alien with freaky alien abilities was sooooo worth it sometimes. "Do I get a kiss now?" he asked cockily.
"You can have one when we get back to the manor," Lex said firmly.
Clark shrugged. "If you say so." And a few seconds later, they were safe and sound inside Luthor Manor again.
That, of course, was when Clark realised just what he had done. He couldn't even think of what he could say. First, for showing off his abilities like that and then for the, the molesting of Lex! He didn't even want to know what had come over him!
But before he could come up with even a wildly implausible excuse--the one he'd just discarded was along the lines of 'the meteor rocks made me do it!' despite the clear lack of meteor rocks and their debilitating effects--his mouth was covered with Lex's and there was some serious kissing going on. And it felt good. Even better than what they had just done in the pond. He groaned helplessly. Maybe he'd have to re-think the excuse part; it certainly didn't look like Lex was afraid or disgusted by him, judging from what his tongue was doing to Clark.
"Now, about those explanations," Lex said in a breathy voice when the kiss finally ended. He was pressed all up against Clark and that felt almost as good as the kiss.
Oh, yeah. Maybe doing the whole explanation thing wouldn't be so bad after all. Besides, Lex had already made good on his part of the deal. Clark would be a very bad friend indeed if he didn't hold up his end.
***
end
***
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Date: 2007-11-01 05:36 am (UTC)HAHAHAHAHA! This was great! Loved confident and then nervous Clark. Zombie prarie dogs was quite unique.
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Date: 2007-11-02 03:59 am (UTC)I'm glad you liked it! ^^
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Date: 2007-11-01 07:34 am (UTC)Good job and thanks for participating!
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Date: 2007-11-02 04:00 am (UTC)except for the part where I forgot the fic at work xx. I'm glad you enjoyed it. ^^no subject
Date: 2007-11-01 11:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-02 04:02 am (UTC)I'm glad you liked it. ^^
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Date: 2007-11-02 03:44 am (UTC)Oy, with the laughing and the zombie dogs! You made me giggle like a loon! And goodness, I had to agree with Clark--Lex was too sexy! *G*
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Date: 2007-11-02 04:03 am (UTC)forgotten! ;_;draft didn't have that. On the other hand, laughter is always good and I'm glad you liked it. ^^no subject
Date: 2007-11-02 04:28 am (UTC)*hugs*
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Date: 2007-11-02 06:04 am (UTC)*grins and hugs back*
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Date: 2007-11-05 01:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-07 01:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-06 06:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-07 01:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-08 02:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-08 05:58 am (UTC)This was just too funny and cute and full of young Clex love! Zombie prairie dogs was just too funny.
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Date: 2007-11-12 12:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-14 09:08 am (UTC)I realize Halloween hijinks are tons of fun when a wet Lex, cavalier Clark, and red K is involved. I also like that bit about Lex's nearest neighbor. Brilliant!