Comment fic meme

[hils.livejournal.com]

Morning folks!

First of all I must apologise for being an absent mod recently. Luckily for me you have all been awesome and not posted anything that doesn't belong here.

Anyway, I've been meaning to do this for a while to get people interested and talking again so here we go

THE old_school_clex COMMENT FIC MEME

How it works:
01. Comment to this post with your prompt. Be as specific or unspecific as you like.
For example: 'Homework' or 'Lex catches Clark spying on him skinny dipping'
02. Please remember that this is an old school Clex comm so nothing from canon that goes beyond the end of season three
03. Post as many prompts as you like - but one prompt per comment only, please!
04. If your fic goes beyond the limit of one comment please reply to part one of your fic with part two etc
05. If you find a prompt that strikes your fancy, jump in and write some comment fic for the prompt poster
06. More than one comment fic response to a prompt is absolutely acceptable.
07. Tell your friends to tell their friends to come and join the fun, add a prompt, write a fic and leave some love for the authors!
08. Play nice - no flames, no bashing is allowed here! If I see a rude comment to a prompt or a fic repsonse, I'll delete it without further warning.

Go forth and have fun!

Comments

[carolandtom.livejournal.com]

Here's my first idea:
Lex masturbates at the sight of Clark sleeping. Then the two of them could have sex (or not)

Rated R (and there's probably a little bit of angst)

[earthseed-fic.livejournal.com]

The first time it happened was (mostly) an accident. Lex had come home to the penthouse to find Clark asleep on the sofa. That in itself wasn't an unusual occurrence. Ever since Clark found out that a college roommate was better in theory than as an actual fact, he spent almost all his spare time at the penthouse. He found Clark asleep on his couch two or three nights a week.

On this occasion, however, Lex had spent the drive home indulging in a favorite Clark-related fantasy, one he'd been having for years. Clark in a full-length, $200 coat, sexy and confident, asking Lex to run away to Metropolis. In the fantasy Lex accepts. By the time he got home he was hard and horny and headed for the shower, but the sight of Clark stopped him.

He was sprawled on the couch, one leg on the floor, one arm behind his head. His shirt rode up just a little so that Lex could see the top of his boxers and a few inches of his firm, muscular stomach. His lips were slightly parted, red and pouty, like the sweetest kind of temptation. And as Lex let his eyes roam down Clark's body he saw that his friend was noticeably, breathtakingly hard.

Lex had the belt and clasps of his pants undone before he knew it. By the time his brain started working again and reminded him that jacking off over the sleeping figure of your best friend was probably not the best idea in the world, Lex had already pulled his cock out and was stroking hard and fast.

He came with several low grunts and instantly felt a little guilty and a lot like a perv. He left Clark asleep on the couch and took a shower, vowing to never let anything like that happen again.

But it did happen again, a handful of times over the next several months. Clark would be asleep, on the sofa or sometimes in his room, and Lex would give in, always promising himself that this would be the last time. It never was, though, because watching Clark sleep, imagining him on his knees fulfilling all the promises made by that sinful mouth, or writhing underneath him begging Lex to fuck him harder--that was just too hard to give up.

After the last time it happened, Lex stepped out of the shower and into his bedroom and found a wide awake Clark sitting on his bed.

"Clark. I--" Lex struggled for composure, which was difficult given that he was currently naked and still really turned on. "I didn't realize you were awake."

"Yeah, I kind of figured that." Clark's expression was unreadable.

"Listen--"

"Are you really never going to make a move?"

"I don't--"

"I've been waiting for months. I spend almost every night here. You have to know that I want you."

"Clark. I had no idea."

"Well. Now you do. And I'd really like to try whatever it is you're thinking about when...you know." And without another word, as if he'd stepped right out of one of Lex's fantasies, Clark crossed the room, dropped to his knees, and swallowed Lex down his throat.

The sensations were overwhelming--the wet heat of Clark's mouth, the sexy little moans coming from Clark's throat, the tight grip of Clark's surprisingly soft hands on his hips, the smell of his own arousal--and Lex felt his legs give out. Clark lowered him gently to the floor and moved up his body to kiss him.

"I'm right here, Lex. You can have me," he said.

"I never imagined," he began. But then Clark rolled his eyes and Lex grinned sheepishly. "Okay, I imagined. Obviously. Are you sure? If we go down this road, I'm pretty sure there's no going back."

Clark was petting him, running his hands softly and slowly along his arms and stomach and back. His head was tucked between Lex's neck and shoulder, and one leg was thrown over Lex's. Lex had never experienced anything that felt so safe, or so incredibly hot. "We can go back to the old arrangement of you sneaking in my room at night, or I can stay here, wide awake, with you."

"Yeah?" Lex was at loss for words. Or maybe the possibility of actual sex with the real Clark had addled his brain.

"Yeah," Clark laughed, leading him to the bed.

And that was better than any fantasy Lex ever had.

[goth-clark.livejournal.com]

Clark is horny all the time and Lex is willing to help.

[hils.livejournal.com]

Clark is at another Farmer's Market and remembers Lex and the apple

[euraylie.livejournal.com]

Ooh I can't resist oldschool CLex.

I want jealous!Lex in any form. Maybe jealous of a highschool football player that just moved to town.

[ladydreamer.livejournal.com]

Pre-slash, Post-Hothead

Lex really quite hated football. For starters, while he appreciated the strategic effort put into the plays, the sport was deadly boring. They played for a minute, then stopped for ten. Beyond that, the boys who played sports such as football were unendingly self-centered and brutish.

He couldn't say how glad he was that Clark's father had been unreasonable enough to refuse his son's request to play.

There was of course the problem that it denied Clark a happiness he had been looking forward to, but Lex suspected that part of his desire was wrapped tightly up with the desire to be fawned over by a certain raven-haired cheerleader. Now that said cheerleader was cheerless and jobless, Lex would be satisfied by knowing that Clark could find his happiness elsewhere.

Regardless, what Lex hated the most about football was that the boys played in such tight pants, and Clark was staring at the ass of a young man who had just come to town and joined the team in the absence of those students who had been removed for cheating.

He really should have been paying attention to Lex, who was standing over him still wearing his suit from work. The sides of his pants bulged with his fists inside his pockets as Lex first looked down at Clark, then out to the field, with one eyebrow arched to where his hairline could have been in another life.

"And then we dumped the bodies in the ravine. Another wild night from the youth of Metropolis," Lex said. His head wobbled a little as his lips curled over his teeth derisively. Clark continued to stare. Lex's lips thinned, and the corners of his mouth deepened. "You were a football player for all of a day, and already you miss it."

"Hm? Oh, I dunno." Clark looked away.

FINALLY.

Lex sighed audibly and looked up at the announcer's box. "Don't you? It's seemed to capture your attention."

"They had an interesting… play." Clark fumbled with his books and started to flush.

"I'm sure." Pursing his lips, Lex pulled out his keys. "Well, I have to get going."

"Where are you going?" Clark's eyes fluttered upward, widening plaintively like a puppy's.

"Have to get back to work. You take it easy, Clark."

As Lex turned away, he felt a strange heat warming the back of his pants. Funny. It wasn't a terribly sunny day.

[sammynce.livejournal.com]

Virgin!Clark/Lex
Lex is more than happy to be Clark first.

[sammynce.livejournal.com]

Lex/Right hand
Every dirty fantaizies Lex have for Clark

Hope you like it! Rated ADULT ONLY!!! part 1/2

[sussixer.livejournal.com]

He's cleared his calendar for the day. It took some serious finagling and some well placed eye-brow raises and glares at the secretary who still thinks she should be more of a mother figure than employee, but the entire day is clear. Clark thinks it's just the evening, a Friday night for two buddies to hang out, watch movies, eat snacks until they burst, and maybe plot a prank or two. Clark also dropped a hint that he wanted to drink some beer and watch porn. At least that what Lex thought he meant by special brew and secret films.

So in preparation for an entire night with Clark under his roof, possibly tipsy and horny, Lex has decided to take the entire morning for himself. He's set out all his favorite toys, extra batteries, a new and unused bottle of lube, some water and fruit for a mid-morning recuperation snack, and a few secret films of his own.

Settling back on the sheets and allowing the cool late spring air to dry the last remnants of water from his freshly showered body, Lex starts off slow. Just a tease of his finger tips across his chest and belly while he conjures up an image of Clark, an everyday image. Clark sitting in the loft reading the newest self help book. His eyes are focused on the words in front of him and his brow is schooled in a serious pose while he sucks lightly at his bottom lip deep in thought. From time to time his large smooth hand reaches up to brush the bangs, that are beginning to curl indifference to needing a cut, blown into his eyes by the late spring breeze.

With a pouty frown on his angelic face, Clark continues to page through the book looking for the answers he seeks. As Lex steps closer the top board of the stairs creak and Clark’s face whips around and breaks into a blinding smile that Lex can feel down to his toes. Lex knows Clark always has a sunny smile for everyone but feels certain that this smile, the one where his molars peek into view, is his alone.

Skipping the pleasantries, cause that’s what fantasies are meant to do, Lex steps up to the couch, tossing his jacket aside, removes the book from Clark’s lap and settles himself atop. Lex enjoys the looks of shock, pleasure, and nervousness that flash across Clark’s face, they only make his bold and unprecedented move all the better.

“Wha, what are y…you doing Lex?”

“Making myself comfortable. You do want me to be comfortable when I visit, don’t you Clark?”

“Of course Lex! It’s just, you’ve never sat in my lap before.” Clark’s eyelashes flutter enticingly as he lowers his eyes and squirms a bit underneath Lex brushing them closer together.
“I like it.”

“I’m glad, cause I plan to do it again, often.” Lex takes Clarks chin in hand and slowly brings his eyes up so they can look at each other. He wants Clark to read his intentions. He wants Clark to know exactly what’s about to happen and not only accept it but long for it.

[sammynce.livejournal.com]

Lex/Red!Clark
"I want it for so long"

[sussixer.livejournal.com]

Okay, first off LOVE this idea, can't wait to see what people come up with!!

PROMPT: Clark's afraid of some bug or rodent (spider, earwig, mouse, oppossum, etc.) and calls Lex to come help cause he's stranded on the kitchen chair and refuses to get down until he knows the thing is gone (dead).

[twinsarein.livejournal.com]

I've started writing this one and hope to finish after the twins go to bed tonight. It isn't the funny fic I thought it was going to be, so I hope you'll enjoy it.

[sussixer.livejournal.com]

PROMPT: Clark looses a bet and has to do an impromptu strip tease to "I'm too sexy" in the middle of the Talon.

Part 1

[earthseed-fic.livejournal.com]

There were many times Clark thought he might die of embarrassment. Once, in the 7th grade, he worked up the courage to ask Lana to the Christmas carnival. They were in the cafeteria and she was sitting with a group of her friends. When he got close to their table, he suddenly got lightheaded, took a step a back, tripped over another student, fell backward, broke a table, and ended up covered in mashed potatoes and chocolate milk.

There was the time, in the fifth grade, Pete's mom walked in on them watching porn.

And just last week his mother had surprised him in his fortress and even though he managed to use his speed to pull up his pants and stash the lotion and tissues, the blush that stretched well past his hairline told her everything she needed to know.

In all of those instances he only thought embarrassment would kill him. But now, as the first strains of "I'm Too Sexy" started to play, he actively prayed for death. He concentrated really hard and half hoped that he had a heretofore undiscovered ability to spontaneously combust. When he opened his eyes, though, he was still in the Talon, he'd still lost a bet, and Pete was still going to pay for this.
********

When Lex walked into the coffeehouse he was sure he couldn't be seeing what he thought he was seeing. Clark Kent, shy, secretive, innocent, Clark Kent, the same Clark Kent Lex had spent the better part of two years decidedly not molesting--that same Clark Kent was naked from the waist down and slowly working his belt from its loops, all while some awful song Lex vaguely remembered hearing in a club blared from the Talon's sound system, barely audible over the crowd's cheers.

Lex knew what he should do. He should put a stop to this, should grab Clark, cover him up, and get him out of there. He should stop Clark from doing something he was sure the boy would regret. Instead, though, he found himself rooted to the spot, transfixed. "Do it," he whispered as Clark dropped his belt to the floor and start on the zipper.

At the moment, as if he could hear him above all the noise, Clark looked up and their eyes met. For a split second Lex thought he saw something, something older and wilder and more knowing in Clark's eyes. The next second, though, it was gone and so was Clark. He'd snatched up his clothes and raced out of the Talon without a word, leaving Lex, and, if the loud "boos" were any indication, the coffeehouse crowd, very disappointed.
**************

[sussixer.livejournal.com]

PROMPT: To prepare for the upcoming swim meet, Clark practices his strokes in Lex's pool.

Swimfan, post Redux S2, part one

[ladydreamer.livejournal.com]

Most student athletes practiced to be their best, to use all of their skills and faculties to win, win, win.

Clark Kent practiced to do the opposite.

It wasn't that he didn't want to win. He did. But he had to make sure that he wasn't tapping into his abilities to do it, and that was hard. It was much harder to not use them than to just let go and zip through the water impossibly fast. Clark had been surprised that his father had let him join the swim team, but he supposed that since it wasn't a contact sport, his father might actually trust him not to accidentally kill people.

No bitterness there. Not at all.

Clark breathed in deeply as he pushed his head out from under the water and slicked his hair back out of his eyes. He was practicing in Lex's pool, since the school pool was closed over the weekend, and he could hardly get any good practice in at the public one.

This part of the manor had clearly been designed post-medieval Scotland, so the clean-cut, utilitarian architecture opened up the space, rather than making it feel depressing and claustrophobic, like the rest of the castle. Resting his arms on the side of the pool, Clark looked out and wondered why he hadn’t taken advantage of this room earlier. The summer had been so very hot…

Though he and Lex had been a little strained over the summer. It was a thing. More and more it seemed like there was a growing awkwardness between the two of them that neither could articulate or even approach rationally. So they ignored it.

It kept getting bigger, though.

For example, Lex had come by a few times on the days that Clark was practicing in here. He hadn't come into the room. He'd just stood at the door, watching Clark swim with a blank look on his face. Clark only knew he was there because… Well he'd felt as though someone were there. He'd sensed Lex, and after turning his head in that direction, he could see through the wall that blocked the doorway from his sight.

Sometimes Lex's tongue would peek out over his lower lip, or his eyes would narrow, but Clark couldn't read what he was thinking. Clark tried his best not to stare at where Lex was lurking behind the wall, watching Clark with his hands in his pockets and his eyes creased just slightly.

Clark ducked under the water to do a few more laps. His technique was getting better, since he rarely had to come up for air. That wasn't something he could control, though, so he just tried not to stay under for a ridiculously long time, though and rolled with it.

When he popped out of the water again, Clark looked over at where Lex had been and frowned slightly when he saw Lex walking away. It must not be very interesting when Clark was under water, where Lex couldn't see.

[la-sigh.livejournal.com]

Very Very cute, 'getting a clue Clark' is always a favorite!!
Nice work!

[hils.livejournal.com]

Lex gives Clark a tour of the mansion and they find something unusual in one of the rooms Lex has never been in

[zephyr-macabee.livejournal.com]

The pond behind the mansion has frozen over. Lexlearns that Clark can't skate and offers to teach him.

Melting the Ice, part one

[seagull2eagle.livejournal.com]

(this was supposed to be more about the teaching, but it kindof got away from me in a different direction. hope you still like it!)
------
Melting the Ice
------

Clark watched glumly as the figures on the small lake laughed and twirled around, effortlessly gliding across the frozen water. Lana was out there, and Whitney, and Chloe, and Pete, and… everybody but him, it seemed.

"Clark, shouldn't you be on the ice?" A husky warm voice, too low-pitched to come out of that slender frame but fitting the speaker just right, like a driving glove over a thin strong hand.

Everybody but him and Lex. Clark turned around happily to greet his friend. "Lex!" He'd thought Lex was still working. It was only the high schoolers who got the snow day off.

"Half my employees had to leave early to go pick up their kids, so I said what the halibut and gave everybody else the rest of the day too." Lex flashed his trademark grin. "That didn't leave me anything to do, so I came here."

Clark's brain finally caught up with his eyes and he registered the ice skates slung over Lex's shoulder. With a sigh, he realized he really would be the only one out on the shore again.

Frowning, Lex put down the ice skates on a nearby log. "Okay, your mood just went from a hundred to negative twenty in less time than my SSC Aero gets to sixty." He walked up to Clark and faced the lake, bumping shoulders with his friend.

Feeling unaccountably happy that his friend was skipping skating to stand in the chilly weather with him, Clark also turned to face the lake, making sure when he turned around that the shoulder contact stayed.

They watched the skaters for awhile, but Clark wasn't really so involved with them anymore. Instead, he listened with his eyes half-closed to the way Lex's breath sounded coming out in the cold air, and how Lex would then breathe in again through his nose. Tree branches crackled as the breezes knocked frozen limbs around, and it was warm where their shoulders and arms touched.

"When I was ten, my dad took me out to an ice-skating rink. First time in my life I'd ever seen that much frozen water in one place," Lex said. "People were gliding all over it, but they weren't laughing like your friends – they were serious. This was the world-class rink where Olympians came to practice. It was all very somber and intense. Very chilling." Lex huffed a little laugh. "So Dad tossed me out there to learn."

"Tossed you out there?" Clark was horrified. Every time Lex came up with one of his little 'past history' lectures, Clark was always torn being laughing and wanting to kidnap Lex home to his family and keep him there and share with him everything a childhood was *supposed* to be.

Lex laughed. "Not literally. Dad had hired the best ex-champions who were willing to teach rich brats, and I learned." He fell silent for a bit. "Never really liked it, though. Always too cold."

Clark edged in a bit closer, moving a bit behind Lex so that he could share more of his body warmth. He'd noticed before that Lex tended to get more cold than other people.

"When I was eight, I fell through the pond," Clark offered.

Lex stiffened in surprise next to him, and then quickly relaxed. Clark thought the relaxed part was forced. "My God, Clark… were you all right?"

"Oh, I was fine," Clark said with a little laugh. Even back then, cold hadn't really affected him. "It was harder, though, to explain to the teachers how I'd fallen through the five feet of ice the pond had built up that year. They finally decided a tree branch had weakened it the night before and I just happened to fall on that one weakened spot." Clark sighed. "I never went on the ice ever again after that."

New idea!

[sussixer.livejournal.com]

PROMPT: Clark is singing a song he thinks he knows the words to but when he says, "If you suck it, he will come." Lex (possibly others as well) have to set him straight-ish.

Skink

[phoenixnz.livejournal.com]

Isn't it amazing what some idiots tell kids? But I can understand the freak out moment. Back when I was a kid I was terrified of mice (we had a house next to an empty property full of long grass, so there were a lot of them) and of course one got in the house. I was climbing the walls trying to get away from it, then it climbed up my brother's pants. You should have seen him dancing around trying to get it out. Your story just reminded me of that memory, but I loved innocent Clark, and Saint Lex to the rescue. This is why I love your fics.

Re: Skink

[twinsarein.livejournal.com]

Hey, I missed your comment. I'm glad I found it just now. Yeah, if you read one of my recent personal posts, you'll know that I was told something pretty scary too, something that stuck with me for years. I'm so glad you got it. I feel bad for your brother. That must have been awful. Thank you for the feedback and letting me know you understood where I was coming from for this.

[sammynce.livejournal.com]

Definitly really awesome
Yeah really awesome
Thank you so much for this
Nothing as good as some old Clex
You rock!

[twinsarein.livejournal.com]

Was this reply for me? Is so, I'm sorry I'm just seeing it now and thank you so much for the compliment! I appreciate the feedback and knowing that you liked it.

[sussixer.livejournal.com]

PROMPT: Lex gets a flat tire, while changing it he gets very dirty and takes off his shirt, Clark comes upon his on the side of the road, bending over the hood of a Porche half naked. What is farmboy to do?

Bad Boys, Part 1

[twinsarein.livejournal.com]

Lex felt the tire go. One moment he was bumping along the so-called shortcut he’d been assured would cut twenty minutes off his trip, and the next, his car was pulling to the right and not acting like the smoothly running machine Lex knew it was. He pulled over to the side of the road, such as it was, and put his head on the steering wheel for a few seconds. This had already been a long assed day, beginning with a lecture, via a phone call, from his father. He really didn’t need this right now. That’s the last time he’d take an alternate route suggested by Nell.

At first it had been wonderful, no other traffic, no houses, he’d really been able to race along, but then the asphalt had run out. Without warning. He’d been happily coasting along and then suddenly he was reduced to dirt and pot holes. Whatever. Lex debated with himself. He should probably call his mechanic; the man would come right out and fix the tire quickly. But this would be a really good opportunity to see Clark.

In the end, it really wasn’t much of a debate. Lex flipped open his phone and started dialing the Kent’s home number. Then he noticed he had no bars. He stared at his phone in disbelief. No bars…what the hell was that all about? He threw that phone as hard as he could, but since the car wasn’t a convertible, the phone just bounced off the door and clattered to the floor. It’s a good thing too. The last thing he needed was some yokel to find his private phone with a full contact list. He certainly didn’t want to go traipsing through the Kansa underbrush for it either.

Lex huffs out an irritable sigh and open his car door. He’ll have to change the tire himself. How hard can it be? People without a high school education do it all the time. He’s got his degrees, his IQ is genius level. He knows he can figure this out.

Ten minutes later he manages to finally find the spare and the jack. He knew they had to be around there somewhere. Who would have guessed that they were in a compartment under the matt in the trunk? He was already sweaty from the high humidity, although the day itself was very overcast so he didn’t have to worry about sunstroke too, and lifting the tire out had left a small streak of black on his lavender silk shirt. It was probably too late to save it, but he decided to strip it off anyway, just in case.

Thirty minutes later he’d managed to loosen two bolts and bend the fender when the recalcitrant jack had slipped. It was at that point he’d started yelling about piss poor foreign engineering, backwards towns that couldn’t tar their roads, his father for sending him to the middle of nowhere, and phones that were stupid enough not to get service when he needed it. He tried to kick his car into submission, but just wound up hurting his foot. After hopping around for a few minutes, he finally started to settle down.

He was no closer to getting his tire fixed than he was when it had blown, and now he was sweaty, dirty, and tired, in addition his foot was sore, he couldn’t call anyone, and he was miles from the nearest main road. The universal appeal for help from a motorist in trouble is a raised hood, so Lex decided to do that next. With the down-to-earth people around here, someone would undoubtedly stop when they saw the hood up, as long as he wasn’t in the picture. In spite of all he’d tried to do for this town, he was still not too popular in this town.
Lex figured he’d sit in the Porsche for a while to cool off and rest. If no cars stopped, then he’d start walking and flag someone down on the main road. Before he could step away from the hood however, he heard the unmistakable sound of a vehicle laboring along the road. He cursed under his breath. He refused to flag the vehicle down. It would be undignified, and if the driver was someone who hated him, then he refused to give that person the satisfaction of knowing they had left the powerful Lex Luthor stranded. So he bent over the engine of the car and pretended to know what he was looking for, just before the other vehicle came into sight.

Unexpectedly enough, he heard it coast to a stop behind him. He stayed bent over. He wanted whomever it was to be a little closer before he stood up, revealing his identity.

[sussixer.livejournal.com]

Prompt: Lex thinks Clark is selling his virginity on E-bay.

[ladydreamer.livejournal.com]

... Is he mistaken?

[solarbaby614.livejournal.com]

Prompt: Lex is day dreams about world domination and about Clark with him.

[ladydreamer.livejournal.com]

Prompt: fanboy!Lex

[ange-elphe.livejournal.com]

I love it ! : ) lol

[ladydreamer.livejournal.com]

Thank you :D

[legendarytobes.livejournal.com]

Prompt: Clark bemoans not being on the football team even after hothead and Lex reveals his own failed attempt to be on a school team at excelsior (not fencing team).

[seaouryou.livejournal.com]

"Shut up, they did not," Clark said, grinning.

"They did indeed."

"How can someone get kicked off a chess team?! You're making that up," Clark accused, laughing.

"Clark," Lex said, mock-hurt. "Would I lie to you?"

"Okay, okay. Why did they? Performance-enhancing drugs? Crack caffeine?"

"Well, I never have been able to just say no," Lex said, toasting Clark with his mug and taking an exaggerated gulp.

"No kidding. You must have polished off a can of whipped cream by now."

"Lana messed up my order," Lex denied.

"Lana got fired a week ago, admit it, you just love your coffee smothered with cream and served in a ridiculous glass."

"I will admit to no such thing."

Clark grinned and let it drop. "Why'd they kick you off the team?"

"Apparently I had to be reminded chess is not a contact sport one time too many."

Clark burst out laughing.

"They removed the rook eventually."

"Has anyone ever told you you're a complete freak?"

Quite a few, in fact, but none of them had infused so much affection in the term that Lex could imagine hearts had been drawn around the word. He sipped his drink and smiled at him over the edge of his cup. Mission accomplished, anyway: Clark had forgotten all about his prematurely dead football career and had fallen back on the couch, shaking with poorly-suppressed mirth.

[jlvsclrk.livejournal.com]

Clark is hopelessly confused when Jonathan gives an oblique sex talk, and asks Lex for clarification

Hope you enjoy!

[sussixer.livejournal.com]

Jonathan wiped the sweat from his brow and then looked over to his son, his almost grown baby boy, and asked the question every father dreads.

"So, you ah…got any questions?"

Clark looked at his Dad, then the ground, a full face blush rising up to his hair line, and finally bit the bullet. It was now or never.

"So…there's a season? For mating and…other stuff?"

Oh gees, Jon knew it wouldn't be simple or easy, Martha had told him as much. He was hoping, however, that Clark would back away from this conversation like all the teens before him and eventually go find the information he was looking for in the locker room, maybe even a dirty magazine.

"Well, son, like I said the bulls and cows have a season. They know when it's time to conceive."

"Yeah but, like people, do they have a season?"

Jonathan let out a long sigh and rubbed his forehead hoping the answers would fall from the sky.

"Girls do, I guess you could call it that. When they have there…you know monthly time, but most guys…well most guys are ready when the wind blows. Especially at your age."

Clark's face crumpled further. This really didn't make any sense. He could have sex when the wind blew? What did having sex have to do with the wind? What Clark really wanted to know, and was certain after this conversation, that his dad had no clue about was why he'd never had an erection like all the other boys talked about.

In fact, his lack of erections was the reason this whole conversation came to pass! It's not like he removed the lock on the bathroom door, or asked his Mom to walk in on him inspecting himself, or to be even a huger freak than was already established. Oh no, his stupid penis had refused to act like a normal male appendage at stiffen up already! So here he was, sweating in the orchard, sitting on a barrel watching his Dad attempt to explain the mechanics of 'sexual relations' so he would be 'prepared' when the time came and now he was even more confused than before this , soon to be erased from his mind, bonding moment began.

"So, son? Any other questions?"

The eye brow raise clued Clark in that his Dad was hoping there wouldn't be and since he didn't seem all that knowledgeable anyway, Clark gave up.

"Nope, I think I've heard enough. I mean, learned enough…for today."

Clark smiled sheepishly at his Dad and knew he was off the hook when his Dad cuffed him on the shoulder and stood up to stretch.

"Well, son, if you change your mind, you can always come to me about anything."

"Thanks Dad."

[sussixer.livejournal.com]

Woo Hoo! Great Job! I love how brazen Clark chose to be at the end, and Lex so flabergasted, perfect.

[ladydreamer.livejournal.com]

Lol. Sometimes you have to take drastic measures with stubborn Lexes! Thank you. I'm glad you liked ;D

VirginPrompterBeGentle

[vampirlycanluvr.livejournal.com]

Prompt:A mad Fairy comes from an alternate universe and grants the first (ridiculous)thing that comes out of Lex's mouth which leads to a very chaotic day and just ends with him (hopefully) in Clark's bed. (clothing optional)